2005-10-14 � This man said it's gruesome...

This charming (wo)man

I was going to post an entry yesterday, but i was all cranky and unfit for company and stuff. (This is your cue to shriek and look all aghast and go "What?!NO! Impossible! You don't get cranky! You couldn't possibly be cranky, you're so gosh-darn loveable and burbly and stuff.")

No, No... it's true. I was cranky. For no reason that I could fathom except that it's been all grey and drizzly for days and days (all day with the grey and drizzly, drizzle, drizzle, grey, grey) and every single pair of shoes I own (well, those shoes suitable for walking in the park anyway) are completely sodden.

In fact, I might be cranky still. It's too early to tell, really It could go either way at this point. I'm aiming for more limited crankitude today, shifting towards optimism, hoping for happy... but you never know. It's a delicate balance. I could topple over into outright outrage at any moment. I picture it like a bubbling black lagoon, with streams of steam winding up in the shapes of hissing snakes, and all the bubbles revealing gaping maws full of teeth every time they burst, like they're trying to bite the air. And I'm kinda skipping along the boardwalk, trying not to get gunk on my shiny mary janes.

Actually, um... no. I'm not skipping. Too early to skip. I'm kinda shufffling, blinking slowly and yawning alot. And I'm not wearing mary janes, i'm wearing bunny slippers. Bunny slippers which are too big and which i keep tripping over. Actually, maybe I'm not so much shuffling as staggering. And maybe they're not bunny slippers... that's too cliche. Maybe they're like those giant godzilla feet, or those shark slippers, the ones that play the "duh..duh..duhduh.." theme from Jaws, you know the ones? Have you seen those? Okay, sigh. I'm giving up on the whole "describe my mood" thing as it's proving to be inaccurate and a lot of bother to boot.

So.. uh.. I'm not sure what that leaves me to talk about. Hmmm... let me think a second. Okay, there's this: I'm planning a surprise for you for the whole week before Halloween. I'm not going to tell you what it is, of course, because then it wouldn't be much of a surprise. I just wanted to titillate you a little. (I've been wanting to titillate you for a long time now, hee hee blush blush, but I couldn't figure out how to spell it.) Or mayhaps, just annoy you. Once again, it's a fine line.

Also... we may or may not have mice in our garage again. The creatures, man, they are all just dying to come live with me!! Particularly those creatures which are multi-legged and fearsome like the fleets of man-eating spiders that keep appearing in the cozy corners of my house, the ones which make me squeal and hop on one foot whilst (whilst!) flapping my hands in that ever so useful manner until the local spider wrangler (that would be Johnny Rainboots) can corral them in a glass and fling them outside. We have a live mouse trap (the kind that traps the mice humanely inside so that you can release them unharmed into your neighbour's yard or teacher's desk drawer) lathered with peanut butter and stationed in the garage where Johnny Jitter swears he saw a mouse trying on my gardening gloves the other day, but so far... no little mouse prisoners. Maybe they don't particularly care for my brand o'peanut butter? I dunno. But so far, no dice. I mean, no mice.

Which reminds me, I should check the trap before I go on the wolf walk this morning.

Wolf walk... yeah. Um...I should get on that. It's already 10 a.m. But I feel sooo lazy this morning and I'm pretty sure my shoes are still soggy from yesterday's excursion into the drizzling grey. Hey.. you! You with the face! Wanna walk my dog? I'll give you a dollar. And all the spiders you can house!

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