Entry in which I briefly contemplate an astonishing career change
Returning home from my regular wolf walk on Wednesday, I spotted an Avon catalogue sticking out of my mailbox. On the cover was a sexy blonde getting out of a car and a big ass perfume bottle that at first glance read "Pink Stink".
Closer examination revealed that the pink bottle was actually full of "Pink Suede" which is marginally more appealing than Pink Stink, but somehow calls to mind pureed pink piglet pelts. Regardless, it reminded me of the sunny afternoon not long ago when a woman arrived on my doorstep to inquire whether or not I had an interest in selling Avon.
Maybe it was the fact she complimented my hair colour, or maybe it was a brief bout of insanity caused by indigestion or the first symptoms of Mad Cow disease, but I actually found myself contemplating it for a minute there. I envisioned myself all dolled up in a pink suit, pillbox hat pertly perched upon my helmet hard hairdo, clicking crisply up and down the streets, distributing teeny sample lipsticks to neighbour ladies hither and yon. Being asked in for tea, misting the air with pink stinks, raking in the dough... beautifying the world. Looking all glam and rosy and much like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blond, only with a certain Jackie Kennedy panache.
And then I remembered the stinking Toronto heat and the withering humidity and my propensity to melt in said heat and humidity and the fact that i simply suck at selling and snapped back to reality. I steered that Avon Lady right out the door and sent her on her way with a merry little wave.
whew!
Besides... everyone knows that Mary Kay is where it's at!!!
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