I'm Happy and Proud!

I've just received this mysterious e-mail, which sounds suspiciously like my darling husband Jack, all hopped up on cough syrup and, of course, love for wee me.

Dear Mrs. Wee,

Please be advised that you have only 4 more days to take advantage of our limited time offer. That's right, "Admit You're Happy Month" is winding down, and we've yet to receive your statement of happitude.

DON'T DELAY!

In these giddy times we live in, our Happiness Warehouse is shipping record numbers of our patented "Mirth Pods" to jolly customers around the globe. But our supplies are limited. Act now! Just listen to these celebrity endorsements which were in no way coerced:

"It's Haptastic!" - Gene Shalit, The Today Show

"Well, I'm smiling, aren't I?" - Anna Nicole Smith

"Get that fucking microphone out of my face" - Russell Crow

"You're pathetic!" - Simon Cowell, American Idol

Order now, and we'll send you a copy of "Yeah, I'm Happy, So What, You Want To Make Something Of It?!" featuring Jimmy Smitts, Luke Perry and The Vienna Boys' Choir on VHS or DVD absolutely free! (Plus $24.95 shipping, handling and Happiness Tax).

Don't let true happiness pass you by Wee Me!

We guarantee you'll see an instant and profound change in your entire life!!*

Say it loud and say it proud! "I'm Happy!"

*Guarantee void when miserable.

Actually, the missing "e" in Russell Crowe was a dead give away. He's always missing "e"s, that boy. Leaves them scattered about the house, or clumped in little piles next to the change he dumps out of his pockets and onto the table in the foyer when he gets home.

Ah yes. My suspicions have just been confirmed. I've just received this from the better (or at least, taller) half of wee:

Yes, it is 100% from this groggy brain of mine. (My writers are currently on strike for more job security and less influenza)

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