2005-12-01 � Monkey and Cork

Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts

Okay, um... what gives?! I am, in the colourful vernacular of my mother, up and down like a toilet seat.* One minute I'm all bubbling with joy and energy and coffee, the next, I'm dragging me arse over the cobblestones moaning and wailing like the most morose ghost, clanging my chains.

Blogging... well, it's a difficult proposition since I can't seem to stabilize my mood long enough to decide what kinda tone to adopt. And it's annoying... this moodiness. Because seriously, life is good. My biggest dilemma these days is trying to decide whether or not to buy the fake white christmas tree that's on sale at Zellers for $40.

See, I really want a Christmas tree this year because for 3 years in a row now, I've suffered thru the season without one. We always get the real kind and we always put it up on my birthday and I really miss that tradition. But for the last three years (and this year again) we spend Christmas with our families in Winnipeg. And leaving a real live tinder-box christmas tree behind is a fire hazard.

But I really don't like fake trees. They seem so...um... inauthentic. But I figure if you're going to go fake, go over the top! Go UNQUESTIONABLY fake. Go PINK!

'Course I can't find a pink tree. Or at least, I can't find an AFFORDABLE one. I just can't imagine paying more than $50 for a tree that's essenitally a wink (hee...pink wink!). And pink? Doesn't so much go with my decor which is all about the earth tones, you know?

But Johnny Snitskin isn't sold on the whole white tree idea. And I'm not entirely sure how to sell him on it. Any suggestions?

Argh. Christmas. Wow. How fast is that train moving?!! I can't believe it's December already. It's December already and I have done zero Christmas shopping and I have no tree. And uncarved pumpkins still rotting on my porch. And an out of date banner. Pshaw! Grumble grumble.

I also have a dog who is very eager to get out for her walk and little else to say.

* My other two favourite Mom-isms:

Snot and Slurp to describe the nose marks dogs leave all over windows when they are pressed against them barking at Very Important Dogs and squirrels. As in "yeah, I spent like three hours cleaning the snot and slurp off the windows today after Shea (her crazy collie) spent the afternoon supervising the next door neighbours landscapers."

Blood, shit and toenails as in "I went to that Boxing Day sale on Saturday and it was total chaos. Blood, shit and toenails everywhere."

What can I say? I come from colourful people. (Mostly green, with some pink and red and splashes of orange.)

Important Programming Note: I'm tired of trying to think up clever titles and captions for these little missives. So from now on, I'm just gonna go into my iTunes and pick a song title at random to plug in there. I'll list the song(s) at the bottom of the page. wheee!

Songs of the Day:
Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts by Wolf Parade
Monkey and Cork by The Sadies

Final Note:

I just got a very sweet e-mail from someone who is concerned that I might be suffering from (clinical) depression. Please, if you are entertaining that concern about me, don't! I'm fine, really. Honest. As with all else in life, I tend to exaggerate my mood swings just a wee bit... mostly for (ahem) comic effect. The moodiness I'm experiencing right now is just your garden variety moodiness, just general blahs which probably have more to do with a string of grey days than anything else. Honest. This doesn't even rate a particularly interesting PMS episode. I'd tell you otherwise (I'm kinda crap at secret keeping). Really!!!

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