Seven Strategies

If you remember nothing else, kids, remember this: No matter what, you always have options. Even if Fat Frances has taken up residence in your home and is continually assaulting you with her ham sized fists and offensive odours. Your options then look something like this: You can cry and mope and hit back in your useless girly fashion, or you can do what I chose to do:

Option the First: you can make delicate snowflake after delicate snowflake here! Wee Warning: this is insanely addictive.

Option the Second: You can blow twice your annual clothing budget on flirty pink skirts bedecked with chocolate ribbon, a crisp pink jacket, an olive military insired jacket, three pairs of pants, pointy pink shoes, good solid, super cushy brown shoes, a red cashmere sweater, a sassy toile trimmed jean jacket with huge silver snaps, a long-sleeved champagne colored t-shirt with little crocheted insets, a very mod black mini skirt pertly trimmed in white with buttons the size of your fist on the hips and a matching black and white sweater which scoops just so, and MORE and then sit in front of your closet and pout "I have nothing to wear."

Option the Third: You can let yourself be reminded again and again how freaking adorable your spouse is and run around behind him trying to steal his towel when he gets out of the shower. Optional addition: Be ever so grateful that your spouse chooses to shower regularly.

Option the Fourth: You can go to the Farmer's Market and buy all manner of fresh flowers, especially the ones that look like fuzzy magenta brains and an armload of branches strung with what looks like pumpkin hued paper lanterns. (I have no idea what either of those plants is called, but they sure make me happy!) Then buy a basket of shiny red orchard fresh apples and eat two before you even get home.

Option the Fifth: Start making plans for Halloween, even if it is like seven weeks away and even if you'll never have the time (and/or energy) to act on them because Halloween is SO MUCH fun!!! Start with buying a frightfully Tim Burtonesque Pumpkin headed wooden man and hanging him on the wall where he will startle you everytime you walk into the room.

Option the Sixth: Stuff yer pockets full of acorns at every given opportunity, denying the neighbourhood squirrels who are looking a little chunky and seem to prefer stealing your tulip bulbs anyway. Should Frances appear, pelt her (HARD!) with them and then, when you're picking them up again for fear they would do serious damage to your vacumn cleaner, make a game of seeing how many of the nutty little missiles managed to hang on to their little berets.

Option the Seventh: Spend an hour selecting new tulip bulbs to replace all those ravanged by squirrels. Leave the store without actually buying any because you're so overwhelmed by the selection, so delirious with the possibilities, you can't decide and must go home immediately to plan a new color scheme.

There are yet more options... but I'm afraid I haven't the time to list them all. Must take out the wolfinator and then get some WORK done. Don't be alarmed if i don't post anything new this week... my in-laws arrive for a visit on Wednesday and we have a big fancy schmancy wedding to attend on Friday evening. Yes, Friday. I know... I thought it was strange to have a wedding on a Friday too, but apparently it had something to do with booking the cathedral and stuff.

Click here to add your comment [ 15 comments so far ]