2004-08-31 � radioactive

Nutshelled

today i am all a-tumult. I started the day in a giant snit, for no particular reason, a snit which fortunately resolved itself quite nicely after the wolf walk. Though the sun is hot today.... I felt my skin melting off and around my ears and arms like butter over a corncob, oily and slick ... The smell of fall is definitely in the air and the goldenrod is massing everywhere.

Then i was possessed by a particular feeling I hate just in time for lunch... a vague kind of queasiness which is firmly rooted in extreme hunger and dropping blood sugar, but i could think of nothing appealing to eat. everything available nauseated me. I ended up eating plain toast and blueberry yogurt because it seemed like the least revolting option. I've spent the hours since trying to buckle down to work with very little success and doodling on my melamine desktop. (literal desktop, not my computer desktop.)

I really need to stop doing that (doodling on my desktop)! I end up with long smears of graphite all over my arms and clothes. And the doodles, which of course turn out fantastically, much better than if i'd done them on paper, end up getting smudged into oblivion and are impossible to scan into my computer, being imprinted on my desk and all. But I just love the slick surface... my pencil just slides over it so easily. Which is weird, because I actually like my illustration board with some tooth to it., but whatever. Thinking about it, it's probably the spontanaeity (that's spelled wrong, I know...but I'm too lazy to look up the proper spelling) of it that makes these little desktop doodles work out so well. They are effortless, almost accidental and therefore much more lively than intentional sketches.

So that's it in a nutshell. i'm all skittery with energy and yet I'm completely unable to muster any motivation to tackle something worthwhile. I dunno. Must have something to with the moon phases or impending tidal waves or the Rebulican Convention or something NYC is not that far from here, you know... close enough that I could be detecting the waves of repulsion coming off the protesters massing there. I'm pretty sure George Bush and his cronies produce dangerous radioactive waste and that it's not being stored properly. yup.



I know I posted this image the other day, but this one is bigger. And also in my portfolio.


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