How Wee Found Her Chi

Okay. So not last week, but the week before, I was all adrift. I was Tom Hanks on a raft with nothing but a bloody volley ball named Wilson. o...wait. Was it a volleyball? Maybe it was a soccer ball? Whatever. It was round. It was a ball. And it was creepy.

But now that we're on the subject (the subject now being not so much my drifty-ness as the movie Castaway starring Tom Hanks)... okay. I realize that often when viewing movies, one must suspend belief to a certain extent and just, you know, go with it, right? And when it comes to Castaway, I'm willing to believe that under certain circumstances, certain circumstances such as being unceremoniously dumped from your Fed Ex plane onto some tropical and lonely island somewhere, Tom Hanks would form an unnatural relationship with a volleyball and perform dental surgery on himself with a skate blade... But come on now, people! There's no way he would not have opened that one Fed Ex parcel. You know the one. The one he delivers unopened to the artist lady once he is restored to civilization and stuff. There's just no friggin' way. I mean, what if there was FOOD in there? What if it was bursting with jellybeans? The gourmet kind with the little recipes on the box. You know, like 2 chocolate pudding jelly beans plus 1 cappuccino jelly bean plus one peanut butter jelly bean makes a mud pie. Or 2 blueberry jelly beans plus 1 buttered popcorn jellybean equals a blueberry muffin. 'Cuz I've had those before, and let me tell you....they RAWK!

Or what if there was a puppy in there (surely we can all agree that a puppy would have been a better companion than a bloody tightlipped volleyball. surely we can agree on that much.) What if there had been a phone in that box? A phone with the Coast Guard on speed dial? There is no way, NO WAY I say, that he would have sat there and stared at that enigmatic box for all eternity (or for the six years or whatever he was stranded on that island) and not opened it. I don't care how stringent the Fed Ex code of honour is...there's no way. No way he would not have ripped into that package like a three year old on a sugar high, cardboard bits flying everywhere. At most, he would have waited a week. At most. I mean, really. Come on, now.

Um... uh... where was I now? Oh, yeah drifting. Now, clearly, you can see that I've solved my little drifting problem. The drifting is clearly a problem for me no more. It is plain to see that I am all focused and in command of my rudder and all my thoughts are collected and rowing briskly in the right direction. I mean, if that whole paragraph on Tom Hanks and the unopened Fed Ex parcel isn't enough to convince you, well! There's just nothing I add. Except, if you haven't see the movie then I've just totally wasted a number of words there and a handful of minutes blathering on and on trying to convince you that I'm totally right about something when you're not even clear what the arguement is about. Not that this is an endorsement of Castaway by any means. I mean, it was OKAY... you know, better than a National Lampoon movie or any number of JLo flicks, but it was hardly a classic. I don't know that I'd use my free Blockbuster Rewards rental on it or buy it on DVD. Actually, that's not true... I do know. I wouldn't. Do either. the Blockbuster Rewards thing or buy it on DVD.

But you know, that's neither here nor there.

So back to the drifting (the irksome and unproductive behaviour I have so clearly rid myself of )... the drifting was becoming quite a problem for me. I had this project that I just had to finish, and it was not getting done. I'd sorta dabble occasionally. Draw a few circles in Illustrator, goof with some fonts. Then I'd get all distracted by the purty plastic bits at Carrotbox or all wrapped up in the loveliness that is Atelier LZC (link courtesy of the ever-inventive Erica) or decide I needed to deadhead the verbena or something.

A week went by and I had acomplished nothing. zip. zilch. Nada.

So I consulted Bluepoppy, an expert in problem solving of this nature. And she had some swell advice. It went pretty much as follows:

1) Clear off your desk. EVERYTHING. Clean your desk with something fresh like citrus, eculyptus or lavender. Wipe it all down. Now, ONLY put back those things on to your desk that are essential. If it is not essential put it aside for later. Your desk should be clean and clutter free. As you do this, center your thoughts on this phrase, "I work easily and joyfully."

2) Look around your space and remove those things that are blue, gray and purple. Also remove things with circles and ovals (again, just for now.Put them away for safe keeping.)

3) Put a SQUARE rug in the center of your space-- ideally yellow, brown or orange (I can hear you screaming NO, Wee, but do it anyway!)--be real-- I didn't say a yellow orange brown rug caus ethat would be gross. But a yellow rug. Or a rug with good brown in it. etc. you could also put down a piece of fabric to symbolize this center square. Also, look around the house for clay pots, anything terra cotta or brick, urns, anything EARTHY and bring it in to your studio.

Introduce the square element as this will help ground you. (FYI, all those blues and circles and wavy lines-- that's all water and will keep you drifting from one thing to another).

4) Page through magazines, books comics what have you and find or create an image that represents how you want your life to be. Take this image and put it up above your desk where you will see it whenever you are working. Perhaps add a caption like "this is me" or something that feels right to you.

5) Now, this is for abundance and prosperity. On your very clean, freshly energized desk, put a healthy (it can be small as you like) plant in the upper left corner of your desk. A jade plant is best-- but anything with glossy green leaves (or red flowers)-- not pointy leaves, but rounded leaves, will do. Put this in a RED (a true clear red) pot or, if you don't have one, wrap some red christmas wrap around its base or a big red shiny ribbon-- go on be creative. Set the plant on a shiny disk or small mirror if you can (not critical just adds power). Every time you water it (but CAUTION-- jade plants do not like much watering) or prune it, think, "my creative endeavors bring prosperity".

Right then and there, I had one of those rare Eureka moments and suddenly I morphed into Feng Wee, Conqueror of Clutter, Banisher of Blue Circles, Wrangler of the Wavy Lines and Queen of Productivity!

I fenged and I shui'ed and then I fenged some more. I was a fenging and shui'ing machine! I turfed out the circles and replaced them with squares. I scoured my desk with lavender and actually put all the stray CDs, once coasters for my never ending, invariably half full glasses of Crystal Lite tangerine and grapefruit flavoured drink, neatly in the drawer where they belonged. I painted a square 10 X 10 canvas a sunny yellow and arranged it neatly on my newly cleansed desk. I reframed my picture of Finny in an Earth Wood frame and hung it on the wall.

And then I tackled the closet. Out went paper samples from the 1800s along with the 378 dried up pens and markers i've been toting from location to location just for the joy of it. I halved my magazine collection and the pile, still a tower of staggering abundance, no longer threatens to collapse on my head every time I open the closet door. How refreshing! I no longer require a hard hat and emergency flares to get a desperately required manual!

And it was all fabulous! The Chi zipped and zagged and made pretty star shapes over my head. The energy flowed and my productivity skyrocketed! I worked easily and ...dare i say it?...joyfully!

It was wonderful. It was amazing. It was short-lived.

The thing is... all those blue and green round things? Turns out I kinda need them. Who knew? Like my round, blue pencil sharpener. And my green jars of pens. And all those CD/coasters I had stored away. And all the piles and piles of paper? They've spontaneously reproduced and my desktop is all aclutter once more. Sigh.

And so once again, I'm drifting with the bloody volleyball. Please... tell me. Where does one find a good jade plant these days?

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