Holly Jolly Christmas Corpses
Well, hello lovelies! I'm back from Wee's Whirlwind Holiday Tour and Chocolate Inhaling Extravaganza and I'm exhausted! But in a good way, you know. There was drinking, there was cavorting, there were tunes sung loud and off-key. There were frosty trees and toes, there was an avalanche of tastefully wrapped but tottering tower of gifts, there was a hairy incident involving my mother's shortie pajama bottoms. There was laughter and shrimp and cookies galore. There is so much to tell... tales I just don't have the energy for at this moment.
But safe to say much mirth and merriment was had by all. Well, maybe not so much by the Finnister.
She was packed off to Doggie Camp whilst the handsome guy and I winged westward for a visit with both sets of parental units, a furry tribe of wooflings, assorted siblings and their spouses and people I haven't seen since I was like eleven or something. I cried for a half an hour after we dropped her off like the big panty-waist I am and was plagued by guilt and horrible visions of my precious pup all Oliver Twisted throughout our visit. I imagined her pining for us as she lay coated in soot and grime, looking all miserable and hungry and tattered whilst being mercilessly taunted by crooked-limbed Fagan-like beings and unalterably corrupted by the Artful Dodger of the canine set, whomever that might be. This despite the fact we were paying $42 dollars a day for the Ultimate Pamper Package at a stylin' "Pet Hotel" complete with the two one-on-one playtimes a day, two walks a day, a daily stuffed kong, a daily Yappy Hour Treat (frozen yogurt) and a Turkey dinner with all the trimmings on Christmas Eve.
I'm pleased to report she emerged happy to see us, fluffy as all get out, and completely unscathed by our abandonment. Of course, this did not stop her from seeking revenge at her earliest convenience. Yesterday, she seized the opportunity to roll vigourously and purposefully atop a Stinky Dead Thing at the park, a Stinky Dead Thing with its guts and gore decoratively hanging out and its long yellow teeth protruding gruesomely in a grim death mask. But the joke was on her as she was then immediately plunged into her third bath of the week and scrubbed within an inch of her life to ward off any horrible diseases the Stinky Dead Thing might have been harbouring. Fa la la la la la la la la.
Today the festivities continue with a trip to the movie theatre to see "Cold Mountain" and a sumptuous feast of fresh pan-fried pickerel (Walleye to you Americans) planned for this evening, followed by chocolate cake and a zombie slaying session seated in front of jack's new Game Cube. Yee Haw. Nothing says holiday like grenading a couple of digital zombies.
Hope you all had a fantastic frolic yourselves!
Okay, I know this is totally unprecedented and possibly illegal in some states, but I'm going to make a second entry here. Yes, that's right... an addendum to the previous entry up there. 'Cuz i just realized that I forgot to tell you something very important. I got a pair of socks with...wait for it... munkies on 'em for Christmas. Yes, yes I did! You're just twitching with envy, aren't you? Yeah, go on. Try to disguise it! I know you want 'em.They look like really clever and slightly demonic munkies too.
After looking up the word "addendum" in my weighty and somewhat lacking dictionary to ensure i spelled it correctly (which, in fact, I did! Rejoicing now.) I've been seized by the desire to add a second addendum just so that i may have the oppurtunity to use the word "addenda", which is the plural form of addendum. It sounds dirty, doesn't it? Dirty like a munkie.
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