2002-12-09 � wanted

Urgently Desired

Wanted: One dozen shiny little elves to scrub my house from top to bottom, a trio of beribboned white mice to dance merrily all day for the entertainment of the wolf, a tireless tribe of personal shoppers to shuttle around town finding perfect presents to bestow upon my family and friends, plus a cook, a baker and a candlestick maker to do all my Christmas related cooking, baking and candlestick making.

And finally: I require sixteen little tinkling fairies to dust the nation with sparkling snow and glittering frost and paint long blue shadows on my world before December 24th. All snow and ice must dissolve promptly and magically on January 2nd, 2003.

I offer minimal pay (read:none), no benefits (other than whatever magical healing properties can be obtained from copious amounts of canine salvia and hair that will be deposited upon you the moment you cross the threshold into wee world) and no vacation time.

Cinnamon-scented applicants will receive special consideration as will those who can sing "Santa Baby" just like Eartha Kitt. Must be available to work nights and weekends. Must be prepared to start work immediately.

To the rest of you Diaryland Darlings: Please bear with me as updates will be few and far between until I can fill these vacancies. You understand.


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