Sounding the Alarm

"I came home and you were on fire, so I went out and walked the dog..." song lyric, possibly Jane Siberry, that's been wedged in my head for eons but never seemed more appropriate.

Okay...just had a very strange experience. So I'm out walking the wolf, as i do practically every day there are not thunderstorms or hurricanes and such, and we're walking this narrow strip betwixt the QEW (Queen Elizabeth Way... a major Toronto area highway) and the park entrance road that I call "Bad Dog Alley" because it is where I walk Finn to avoid meeting up with other dogs. Because the wolf does not like other dogs. Not. At. All. and we have had a few incidents where the wolf is doing her utmost to avoid other canines, but other canines insist on running right up to her and sniffing her bum or putting their paws on her back or stealing her stick from her mouth or attempting to hop onboard for a little humpity hump action and the wolf has reacted rather violently and scared the bejezuss outta me. She's never actually hurt another dog, but I don't want to take that risk, so I actively seek out paths where there is little chance of encountering another dog.

"Bad Dog Alley" has become the path of choice in the last couple of months because I have only seen another dog (or person) up on "our" path once and it has plenty of sticks and interesting hollows and a clear view of all oncomers.

So anyway, we're up on the top of the ridge, and I'm throwing sticks and the wolf is leaping about in tongue lolling anticipation of my next throw when I glance over my shoulder, back toward where I parked my car about half a mile down at the locked gate of what once was the park entrance, but is now gated off and overgrown.

And surrounding my car are four firemen. And parked behind my car is a big red Oakville Fire Department Fire engine. With ladders. And hoses. And lights flashing. And a particular, disturbing interest in my car.

My first thought was "Holy shit! My car is on Fire!" then I thought, no... there must be a fire in the field and my car is blocking entrance into that area of the park. But no... I park there practically everyday and it would be easy for them to navigate around my vehicle and well, this is very, very strange. And worrisome.

This is in fact, quite alarming.

So i yell for the wolf and together we go hurtling inelegantly down the hill, crashing through the grasses and the teasel and through the drainage ditch which filled my left shoe up with sog and out on to the road. I leash up my dog and we trot toward the trio of firemen who have spotted me and are ambling toward me in their yellow rubber overalls and suspenders and outrageous calendar worthy hunkiness.

"Hi," one of them shouts when we are within earshot.

"Uh, hello..." I respond, breathlessly.

"Are you okay?" Another asks.

"um, yeah, I'm fine," I say. "Uh, how are you?" ( okay... you must bear in mind that I'm all discombulated here and Canadian and therefore achingly polite and they're all acutely interested in me and concerned and ferociously cute and stuff.)

"That wouldn't happen to be your car over there, would it?" The first fireman inquires, gesturing down the road to where my car is gleaming all silvery and ordinary behind the hulk of the fire engine.

"um, yes. It's mine. Am I blocking your way? Do you need me to move it?"

"Uh, no..." answers the third fire guy. "We just got a call that there was someone struggling inside that vehicle."

"Struggling? In my car? Are you sure they meant my car?" this is getting curiouser and curiouser.

"Yes," they respond in unison.

"Really? Well, that's weird. I was just walking my dog on the hills over there...are you sure? How long ago did you receive the call?"

"About twenty minutes ago..." we've been walking as we were talking and now we're standing beside the car which looks exactly like I'd left it.

"Wow. That's really weird. I wasn't even in my car twenty minutes ago...I've been out here walking for about forty five minutes now.The only thing I can think of is that someone saw me getting the dog out of the back seat ...."

"so you're okay?"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." (wanting to add "and meow! So are you!" but stopping myself in a nick of time.)

"And you weren't struggling?"

"Uh...no.'

"Okay, then." and then one of the firemen talks into a sputtering walkie talkie and says "We've located the owner of the car and she is fine. she was just out walking her dog. She thinks maybe they saw her getting her dog out of the back of the car."

And so they tell me to have a good day and I say thank you and I put the wolf in the car and slide in behind the wheel and they get into the big red fire engine and I pull out after them and follow them out of the park, my brain whirling.

Was there someone else in my car? Is my car haunted? Am I sitting in the midst of a crime scene? Did the firemen think I was out on the hill ditching a corpse? Surely they realize I'm not big enough to ditch a corpse on my own? Not a full-size one anyway. Maybe corpse bits. A head. An arm, a leg or two. OHMIGAWD! Ewww! Surely they don't think I'm some kind of killer?!! Ewwww, ewww and more ewww!! But if I was a killer, certainly I wouldn't be dumb enough to ditch the body in broad daylight. OHMIGAWD. I can't believe i'm even contemplating this... Was someone trying to break into my car? Did someone think I was having a heart attack or something when i leaned over to put my wallet in the glove compartment? Did they make a mistake? Was it a car that was parked there and left just before I arrived? Twenty minutes ago?!! And why the Fire Department? Is that who you call when you see someone struggling in a car? Not the police? why wouldn't you call the police?This is all very strange.

And unnerving. As soon as I pulled in to our driveway, I popped the trunk and peered inside, half expecting to see a body bag or evidence of some horrible crime or something.

But there's nothing. A piece of string and a laminated plastic card about the safety features in the trunk telling you how to open it from inside.

Weird.

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