Entry in which you can just feel the love. and it's itchy.
This is a story that requires a wee bit of background: Yesterday, when I arrived at the train station to retrieve my One and Only, I found him bent over a concrete planter, brow furrowed.
"C'mere," he said as I approached. "Look at these things."
I looked. I didn't see anything.
"Look closer," he prompted.
I looked closer. And then I saw them. Hundreds of teeny weeny red spiders hurry scurrying along the ridge of the planter, not much bigger than the period at the end of this sentence.
"Hey!" I said. "I know what these are!"
"What are they?" Jack asked.
"Um... I forgot," I answered helpfully.
But this morning I remembered. They're money spiders. But before we go any further. you must click on this link and read all about 'em: money spiders. Done? Well, c'mon. Hurry up. Tick Tock, people.
Okay?! Good. We'll proceed. So, the following is an e-mail conversation that took place between Jack and me this very morning:Me: Hey Honeyhead, darling husband o' mine, check this out: http://www.ickle.org/archive/moneyspiders.html
Jack: Could there be something to this? I saw the money spiders...then, we got money. I recommend letting them roam free through our follicles, and then buying copious amounts of lottery tickets. Thoughts?
Me: O yes! You better bottle 'em up fast, just in case someone else has the same idea. Maybe we can start farming them, producing our own little bumper crops of money spiders. We'll be rich, I tell you, RICH! Like Monty Burns rich! and we will cavort madly in piles of cash, not caring that we're itchy with teeny red arachnids and people are gawking. Whee!
Jack: We'll be like Mr. Burns AND Itchy and Scratchy. Rich people...always scratching something.
Me: ...giving all new meaning to the phrase "Scratch & WIN!!!" o... this is the best plan we've ever hatched!!! What do you think they eat? Our money spiders should be well fed, but you know, not so well fed that they become fat and lazy and so content they forget about making us itchy with wealth.
Jack: they will feast on our dead skin and many parasites, it will be a profitable and symbiotic relationship, and all we need to do is sit back and shed.
Me: Hey, wait a minute... maybe we don't have to be Itchy and Scratchy... we just plant them on Finnegan Hamtongue (aka the Wolf).... she's all about the shedding and the parasites and I was watching her scratch earlier today and I swear, she was really enjoying it. She can be our little furry money spider plantation. Once more with the cavorting and the wealth! Whee!
Jack: It's about time she began to pull her own weight. Meanwhile, since we're soon to be rolling in it, there are a few people around here I'm itching to tell off. It's bridge burning time.
Me: Burn, baby, burn! Incinerate the fools! I recommend starting with Mr. X, just cuz. And if you can do the long distance conflagration thang, try targeting Mr.Q. That's me pretty much taken care of. Then you can make with your own fiery vengeance.
Jack: By your command...
Me: I think the phrase you're searching for is "...as you wish" 'Cuz you are forever and always my Wesley and I am your Buttercup.
Jack: MMMmmmmm, buttercup....
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